What I've learned.

So, in the past eleven and a half weeks (Holy cow!!!) I've learned that being a mama has its ups and downs, and that when you think you have something down, your baby will completely change the game on you. I've learned that the worst poops will happen when you didn't pack a change of clothes for you or baby. I've learned that the little things will absolutely melt your heart. I've learned that it's the hardest thing I will ever do. I've learned that there are some feelings I'm ashamed to admit, but in the end it's okay because I truly love him. I've learned that adult interaction is necessary for my sanity. I've learned that I can't do all the same things I did before. I've learned that I get to do so many more amazing things. I've learned that very few things will work more than once. I've learned that the animals will always be the loudest right after I get R to fall asleep. I've learned that sleep is scarce and how to deal with that a little. I've learned the magic of coffee. I've learned that Papa's will try their hardest, but still manage to bug you because they just don't get it. I've learned that R's smile can always make me smile. I've learned that you will get more unsolicited advice than you can shake a stick at. I've learned that R will ALWAYS cry as I begin to eat or get a shower. I've learned that babies will fight sleep tooth, nail, and lungs. I've learned that even though I get so frustrated when he's lost his mind, I get so sad when I see how much he's grown. I've learned to take help wherever I can get it. I've learned that I miss cooking. I've learned that I have a baby that just needs to be held. I've learned that I am RIDICULOUSLY out of shape. I've learned the value of baby wearing. I've learned that some friendships will end. I've learned that I'll long for old friends, but look forward to new friends. I've learned that not everyone will agree with my style of parenting, nor I theirs. I've learned that I will be told I am spoiling my child. I've learned that I will not hesitate to be an advocate for my child. I've learned that some things I would have previously considered gross I now do without a second thought. I've learned the many uses of breast milk. I've learned that I'm really good at masking my frustration. I've learned that it's okay to cry. I've learned that husbands give really good hugs. I've learned that my life has changed for the better. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that my life is amazing.

Also, I swear I have pictures, I just have to post them. :)

Progress and Grins

So, The Hubs and I failed at the birthday party. We expected R to have a meltdown much sooner than he did, and therefore were at said party much later than we expected. So, we caved and ate crappy Chuck E. Cheese pizza. We started over the next day and are now completing day two of eating totally gluten free.

Day one consisted of Cinnamon Chex cereal, I'm blanking on lunch, and chicken salad on tortilla chips. Today was a tea for breakfast, leftover chicken salad for lunch, and steak, quinoa, and salad for dinner. Snacks have been various fruits, yogurts, and spoonfuls of peanut butter. So, it hasn't been too bad. The pain is going to be knitting at Panera tomorrow night. I've been scouring their nutrition section, trying to find what I can have, and it looks like my options are going to be pretty slim. On top of that, I can't be sure that there won't be any cross contamination, but at this point I'm not going to be too picky about that. I think the important thing right this moment is cutting out as much gluten as I can. I'll be more picky about cross contamination once I've gotten this down.
My life saver so far has been www.gfoverflow.com. The Hubs' sister told me about this site, and I absolutely love it. If you aren't sure about the gf status of a product, you just type in the name and the site will let you know. It's really great for the hidden gluten in "natural flavours." Another site that I've been thankful for finding has been www.glutenfreegirl.com. This lady is married to a chef, so good food is very important to them. Because of that, they have worked really hard to de-gluten a lot of different things, posting the recipes as they go. Things are sorted into neat categories, so everything is easy to find. With the holidays coming up, I was beginning to get sad when I thought about the things The Hubs and I R would be missing out on, but thanks to these sites he won't miss out on anything. He can have most candies at Halloween, and I found a sugar cookie recipe for Yule.

Besides working on this whole gf thing, I have been working on getting smiles out of R. Gathering evidence  of said smiles is my primary occupation.

Taking the Plunge

In the last year The Hubs' mom was diagnosed with celiac disease and several of his family members have at least a gluten sensitivity. With that in mind, The Hubs and I have decided to also remove gluten from our diets. Due to the family history, R is predisposed, as is The Hubs, and we both have several issues that are said to be exacerbated by gluten, so what will it hurt to just cut it out?

We are now on day two of no gluten, and I'll be honest, it makes me feel a little trapped.Things have to change, and as selfish as it is, I don't want them to. I don't like that I can't make a quick stop at some fast food place if I'm out running errands and am starving. I don't like that I might not be able to get anything to eat when I go to knitting at Panera. I don't like that at the birthday party we're going to today I can't have cake or pizza. I don't like that since we have decided that this is the best option for our family, all I can think about are muffin, fresh bread, and all the fall treats I can't have. It's silly, and like I said, selfish, but it's frustrating.

So, now we're working on figuring out what we can eat and how to incorporate it into our lives. It's going to require me cooking a lot more, which is something that has seriously decreased since late in my pregnancy. It also requires me to plan my meals a lot better. I can't just wing things like lunch anymore. I think the thing I'm most worried about is food being boring. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed eating the same thing days on end, and it feels like that is what's in store. So far I've had salad, salad, and more salad.I know there is more I can have and do, it's just the process of figuring it out that seems daunting. I can definitely understand why The Hubs' mom was so depressed when she received her diagnosis, and I have no idea how his sister does it on top of being vegetarian! If they can do it, though, so can we. His mom is just going to receive a lot more calls asking what we should make for dinner. Also, if anyone has any suggestions for gf lunches that are easy to put together while dealing with an angry baby, I'm all ears.

I'll let you all know how this goes and if we see any improvements. :) Wish us luck!

Quick, while he's sleeping!

R is currently snoozing in his swing, and I thought I'd blog quickly before he realizes that I set him down.

As you can probably tell by the above sentence, he hasn't gotten much better about being set down. We have begun to be able to lay him in his swing for short periods, as long as he is asleep first. Otherwise, he is anti not being held. He is staying awake for longer periods, which means he insists on being held for longer periods. This was turning into a bit of a disaster, in regards to the state of my home, but I think I have discovered a solution. The Hubs and I dragged ourselves to a local baby wearing meeting today and got some help in regards to our wraps. As I said before, the mei tai was okay if R was asleep first, and I had a hand to support his head, and the moby was beyond my understanding. Well, ladies and gents, I might have figured out the moby! I was shown a way to get R in that gives him head support, allows him to look around (very important these days), and doesn't squish him. Best of all, he tolerates it while awake! I also discovered that I am in love with ring slings. A friend said she will add me to a fb group where people sell their used slings, and I'm hoping to be able to find one. If these continues to work, I can actually begin taking care of the house again! No more being tied to a chair because he refuses to be set down and requires two hands while being carried! I might even be able to go out and about while alone! This could open a whole new world of possibilities! :)

Last week we did our first real trip. We took a 7 hour car ride across the state to work at a Ren Faire, and it was amazing. R woke up every few hours to nurse and be changed, but he slept soundly for most of the ride. Upon arrival, he was a pretty good baby and after the first few hours of the first day, he slept most of the time. The miracle was that he allowed us to set him down while he slept. I was absolutely shocked by this, but R must have decided that was enough shock, because he has since resumed his stance on being set down while sleeping: firmly against. The trip home wasn't nearly as easy, but it taught us that while traveling we need to give ourselves a lot more time than we think we need.

This week was also amazing for teaching me which friends to turn to when having some baby trouble. I went to coffee with one well meaning friend who basically told me it's okay to practice the cry-it-out method. The gist was that sometimes babies need to stretch their lungs, I shouldn't be a human binki, and I need to be careful not to teach R that I will come and hold him when he cries. This might be something that other moms are comfortable with, and I fully support them, however, it isn't something I am comfortable with. I understand that there are times when you have done everything you can and baby is still crying. In those times I understand that baby is going to cry until baby falls asleep or is suddenly okay. I also know that in those times I want to show R that when he is upset, I will be there. I will be with him to hold him while he figures things out. I want him to know that he isn't alone when he is frustrated. I personally cannot make myself set him down and walk away when he is inconsolable. There are other mothers who can, and like I said, I support them, it just isn't for me. I get aggravated when R is having a difficult day and, sure, I complain, but I also understand that this is what I want. I could easily exclusively pump and bottle feed. I could easily set him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep. I could easily set him down and let him figure it out while I get things done. I could easily use paper diapers. I could easily do a lot of things that might make things easier, but I choose not to because they don't feel right for me and my baby. There are some people who, I'm sure, don't agree with how I do things, and that's okay. That's what I'm really learning, it is okay if not everyone supports me. All I have to do is smile, thank them for the advice, and if I feel the need, simply inform them that that isn't something that works for us. I have plenty of people in my life that either seethe value in what I am doing or at least support that I am doing what I feel is right. That support is all I need, and I know it. <3

Life With A Baby

R was born 4 weeks ago today, so he is either a month old today or will be here in three days. He is staying awake a lot more, eating constantly, following our faces, and beginning to hold his head for short periods. He is extremely needy, hating to be set down, hating to sleep anywhere that isn't on one of us, and always hungry, but we love him. He has set a bit of a schedule for himself at night. He wakes up to eat and be changed at about 11, 2, 5, and 8. By 8 he has decided that he is up for the morning. At that point we get up, get changed, eat, and then he refuses to be set down. Because of this, we are having a little bit of trouble figuring out how to get back into our old routine. I very recently discovered that R will tolerate being in my mei tai wrap as long as he is practically asleep when I put him in. From there he goes to sleep and I can do the dishes and pick up a bit before he decides he is done and wants to eat RIGHT NOW! It has been a big accomplishment! I'm hoping that with this discovery I'll be able to get back in the swing of things. I am so incredibly out of practice when it comes to cooking, cleaning, crafting, everything. I miss baking, I miss crocheting, I miss a lot of the things I was doing when I had two hands.

The Hubs goes back to work on Tuesday, and I really hate to see him go. He has been so incredibly helpful, and I'm nervous about being on my own with the baby for the first time. I'm nervous about being completely on my own during night duty. I'm nervous about my little bit of progress disappearing once I don't have him here to take the baby for a moment. I'm nervous about not having anyone here to help when I get overwhelmed. It's definitely going to be an adjustment!

So, here are the goals:
-Get back on track with Motivated Moms
-Bake something
-Go to knitting and actually crochet

So, does anyone have any suggestions for getting things done with a needy baby?

Also, in case you weren't aware, IT'S FALL! I adore summer, but fall holds a special place in my heart. I love the smells, the tastes, the pleasantly cool air, and being from Florida, I love the colours! Having a baby now, I want to start some developing some family traditions. This year I want us to go to a pumpkin patch and pick apples. In the future I want us to all bake pumpkin treats, have a bon fire, and to grow and give pumpkins to our neighbors.

I truly can't wait to get R involved in the turning of the seasons with us. I see how difficult he can be right now, with needing to be held and reassured all the time that the world is an okay place to be, and it is so incredibly worth it. I look at him and I see all the things he is learning to do and I imagine all the things we will do, and my heart just swells. These first days can be difficult, but they are becoming easier. They can be difficult, but they will be so short. One month has passed and it happened so quickly! How quickly will the rest of time pass? Every time I think of how tired I am or how I wish he would just let me lay him down for a moment, I think of how soon he will be running and not wanting to be held. It makes me reevaluate things, and I snuggle him closer. I love being a mama and I don't want these days to end.

He's Here!

The weeks leading up to my labour were full of bad luck. Our AC had died (and thankfully been fixed) in part of the house, the master bath had mysteriously flooded, the cat managed to get life threateningly ill, and just two days before the big day, the septic had backed up into the house. I woke up at about 5:30 a.m. on August 25th to thunder and mild cramping. I tossed and turned for a bit before finally giving up and deciding to go to the bathroom. Being 41 weeks and 1 day, I did the frequent prayer for bloody show, and this morning my prayer had finally been answered. The poor cat had gotten himself locked in the bathroom with me and must have been quite confused by my little celebration. Afterwards I made my way back to bed, because I knew I was going to have a very long day ahead of me. After a few minutes of being extremely uncomfortable, I decided to make the best of it and just get up for the day. At about six the power flashed and being mildly afraid of the dark, I ran back to the bedroom to wake my hubby up and let him know that I thought things were starting. At this point the thunder was rather intense and he decided to just get up as well. As we worked on eating breakfast and cleaning up we decided to go ahead and time contractions so that we could give our midwives and Marie an idea as to where I was. By about 7:30 my contractions were around 30-40 seconds long and about four minutes apart, and this is where they stayed for most of the day. Around 9 we decided to go ahead and give Marie the okay too come over even though we didn't think we needed her yet. The rain was pretty bad and the streets were flooding, so we were all concerned that her car wouldn't make it if we waited much longer. As it turned out, it was already too late, and the Hubs had to go out and pick her up. Shortly after Marie arrived we discovered that the power was out in half our house. This, of course, was the half that controlled most of our major appliances, including the AC.  The entire time, I was having back labour and my contractions would get very intense any time I sat. We decided to distract ourselves by playing cards until the electric company could come out. Eventually Marie talked me into sitting and continuing to sit through a few contractions to let them continue doing what they needed to do. Without fail I would have a contraction at the start of each of my turns. After a few games and a glass of wine, Marie and I decided to try and get a nap since it was going to be such a late night. I laid down for a little bit, but my contractions were getting stronger and stronger, and laying down was anything but comfortable. I got back up, and Marie followed shortly after. At this point my contractions were definitely a fair deal more intense and my back was killing me! Marie, Laura, and Bettie all suggested I get on all fours to see if baby would reposition himself enough to help my back a bit. I got into position and stayed that way for about an hour, to no avail. My back continued to throb no matter what we did. By now my contractions were close to a minute long, but still around four minutes apart. I spoke with Bettie while we figured out what the plan would be in case the roads were still flooded and to let me know she would be in Virginia Beach for a bit. A little while after getting off the phone with Bettie, Laura texted to see how everything was going. She asked if I wanted Bettie to come by and check on me on her way through town, but I said no because even though things felt intense, I knew it would stay that way for quite a while, especially if baby was sunnyside up. I knew that all she would be able to tell me was what I was already doing. Within half an hour things intensified again, and the Hubs decided he wanted someone to come check on us anyways, even though I insisted that things were fine. Laura said we had missed Bettie, but that she would come over. The Hubs was amazing. He was always right where he needed to be, doing exactly what needed to be done. He would follow Marie's lead, trading off doing counter pressure and holding hot rags to my back. As soon as he would notice I was having a contraction, he would drop what he was doing and hold me while we swayed together, reminding me that I could do absolutely anything for a minute. After a particularly intense contraction I decided to try going to the bathroom even though I really, REALLY didn't want to. Sitting always made my contractions worse, and sitting on the toilet was excruciating. All day anytime I would sit to go to the bathroom, I would have to jump up halfway through to deal with the contraction. This time, the contraction began as I was sitting, and I finally decided, screw this, I'm peeing in the tub. As soon as I stepped in the tub, another extremely intense contraction hit and as it ended, I couldn't not push. With that, my water broke. Almost immediately, another contraction came. After a little bit, Marie came to check on me, and I can only imagine what she was thinking when she saw me standing in the tub! She came over and helped me take my shirt off so that she could spray water on my back. This is where things get a little hazy for me. Someone called Laura to say she really needed to hurry and at some point Marie called Bettie. Bettie began to walk Marie through what needed to be done, and the goal was to keep me from pushing until Laura arrived. She had me lay down on my side and blow through the contractions, which didn't work very well. I remember being really upset that the Hubs' mom and sister weren't there yet, and it seemed like they walked in right then. From that point it was game on, and he was coming whether we were ready or not. Bettie walked Marie through every step, and at 8:10 p.m., he came out, not sunnyside up, just huge and yelling. Marie got to be the one to hand me my baby for the first time, and I honestly couldn't imagine it any other way. Seconds later, Laura walked in and took over. Very shortly after that, we lost all power, so weighing him, measuring him, everything had to done by candlelight. It was really cool and I feel like that just really added to the experience. Everything was perfect, R scored two 9's, I only had a tiny tear that didn't even need stitches, and no one freaked out. It was amazing.

Oh, this child...

I love my womb-bound son with everything in me. We FOUGHT for quite sometime to conceive him. I eventually began to give up, and when life got extremely dark, he finally joined us. He brought a lot of light back into my life, and for that I owe him the world. This child is my everything...

However, he is lucky I know the benefits of allowing him to make his entrance all on his own. He is lucky that I know it is best for him to be allowed to stay in the warm cozy for at least 40 weeks, without me doing everything I can to coax him out. Otherwise, as soon as I hit 37 weeks the eviction process would begin! The breast pump would be out, the sexy time would be in full force, and I would be walking miles!

True, the majority of this is my wanting to hold my tiny ball of cute, but a tiny part of me is ready to have my insides back. It's not even like I mind him being in there, I just want his adorable bottom and tiny, tiny feet out of my ribs! Even if he just moved down a tiny bit and hit my bladder all day, I wouldn't need to be talking myself out of drinking my weight in red raspberry leaf tea. My midwife says he should drop in the next week or so, and for this I rejoice! :)

In the end, I'm happy he is in here, healthy and baking away. I just want him to quit trying to break this one rib! That is all. So, son, remember that I love you even if you hurt. <3

So incredibly behind!

The last few weeks have been incredibly hectic! We've been out of town almost every weekend, I've been crocheting up a storm for Castle's Cradle, I've had several house guests, I'm preparing myself for a much unwanted visit with certain family members, working on designing menu plans built mainly around whole foods, babysitting, baby showers, and much more! On top of it all, third trimester has finally hit me! All I want to do is sleep and gorge myself on tums! Granted, my life hasn't been nearly as crazy as some of the amazing people I know, and for that I consider myself truly lucky! I am extremely blessed to be in a situation that allows me to not have to have a traditional career. (I say traditional because although I don't bring money into the home, I still consider caring for the home and finances to be my career) Alas, I shall continue to use all of this as an excuse for my absence. So, something had to be neglected, and unfortunately it was this blog.

As a side note, I finished taking the pictures for the Photo-a-Day June, I just need to upload them.

So, I've learned that it is VERY easy for me to get off track with the things that are important to me when life begins to get crazy. When there is company it is easy to neglect the meals I had planned and instead eat out. When there is company it is also easy to neglect the housework that needs done. Once these things have been neglected for a few days, the daily ritual has been broken and it becomes difficult to start again. Things have slowed down just a little, and I am still having to force myself to get back into the daily routine. I find myself putting off things that I was previously quickly getting out of the way. Laundry waits a couple days longer to be washed, and then sits in a basket for several days waiting to be put away. The daily chores might get done, but the special tasks are put off for another day. The menu is made, but a dollar menu dinner is still had. It is so easy to let laziness creep in, and I have yet to learn how to combat this. I have such big plans for our family, but ti is difficult to implement when the smallest things set us off track.

I guess the best I can do is not beat myself up about it and just try to get back into the swing of things as quickly as possible. Now, I'm going to put together a menu for the week and designate the daily housework. :) Wish me luck!

It's getting so real!

When the Hubs and I found out in December that we were expecting our first little one, we were absolutely shocked. Not because we are young, not because we weren't trying, but because we had been trying for so long with no result.

I will give you a quick run down so that you can better understand what I mean.

We were told very early that if we wanted biological children, that we would need to begin the process quickly. They had done what felt like hundreds of blood tests, an HSG, ultrasounds, everything, and they said it all came back normal. At the time, my doctors weren't exactly sure what the problem was, but they predicted that I was probably having anovulatory cycles, and that as time went by it would probably get worse. Since we both really wanted children, we immediately began trying, and month after month nothing changed. Since my cycles were so infrequent, every month I would be sure this was it, because Aunt Flo was nowhere to be seen. Each month we would anxiously test, and each month would end in heartbreak. After a while my doctor decided it was time to add Clomid and ovulation predictors to the routine. I took the Clomid for about four months, sometimes responding, sometimes not, before I was finally transferred to an actual infertility clinic about an hour away. From here, a Reproductive Endocrinologist quickly diagnosed me with PCOS and had us begin Clomid IUIs with HCG shots. After another four months of this with no success and my body not responding well, we discovered another roadblock. At one of the scans the RE noticed a strange cyst, and decided to have us get an ultrasound just to be sure that everything was okay. What we discovered was that while the cyst was of no concern, the fallopian tube it was on was. We learned that something wasn't quite right with the tube, and that I would need surgery to figure out what was going on and to hopefully fix it. During the surgery it was discovered that the tube was covered in cysts, blocked, twisted, and full of fluid from the previously mentioned cysts. There was nothing they could do other than remove it, and remove it they did. After a month or so to recover, we picked right up with the IUIs and a new medication, Femara. I responded beautifully to Femara, but still wasn't pregnant after another three months. Then, right before Thanksgiving, we were devastated to learn that I had not responded to the medication. I had a couple tiny follicles, but nothing that would be viable. After re-scan and no growth, the RE told me this particular cycle had failed. He said I would not ovulate this month and that I shouldn't come back until we were ready to proceed with IVF.  Over the next few days I kept stubbornly testing for ovulation, but kept coming up negative. Hubs' aunt then gave us a mother goddess doll, and I kid you not, I ovulated the next day! At this point I was so late in my cycle that I sincerely doubted it would work, but we decided to give it a go any ways. And two weeks later, there were two glorious lines. We later found out that I ovulated from the ovary without a fallopian tube, and so it was even more special.

I promise that was the quick version!

So, after all that, it's been very hard to believe at times that this is actually happening. I remember in the very beginning I was sure the test was faulty. Then I was skeptical that I wasn't just being shown a video of an ultrasound. Then I had to convince myself that my midwife wasn't just telling me she found a heartbeat to spare me. Then I was sure that those little flutters were all in my head. I was just so sure that after two years of disappointment that this was just going to end in disappointment as well. Anytime something good would happen, something worse was just around the corner. Now that I'm as far along as I am, there is no denying it! My belly has grown and those flutters are full on punches now.

I'm 78 days away from my guess date, and it still shocks me to know that this is actually happening. It actually worked. We're actually going to be parents. It's not a big elaborate scheme to crush me in the end, this is real! And I couldn't be happier.

And Here It Is...

Okay, so by now I'm sure everyone and their mother has seen the recent Time magazine cover, but in case you haven't, here it is:

mommyish.com

 

 

This cover, and I suppose for some the article, has caused major controversy as of late. I have heard everything from cheers of encouragement to sneers of disgust. I have read comments calling this woman and all mothers like her both saints and perverts. I have expressed my personal opinion to my husband and sister, but beyond that have refrained from saying much. I have researched and reposted several articles discussing different points of what is considered attachment parenting, but have refrained from expressing whether or not I actually agreed with those articles. This was all to prevent a possible backlash from those in my life, but in the end I only know one of you, and I'm sure that particular reader won't disintegrate into a pool of blind anger if we happen to disagree. So, with that, I'm going to discuss my personal feelings about this cover, the article, and AP in general.

The Cover:
The actual cover of this article ticks me off. It isn't even the picture that upsets me, I think the picture is great. Art is supposed to cause a stir, get people talking, and no one can say that it didn't do this. The look of a mother almost defiantly feeding her child in the way nature intended whether the world likes it or not is beautiful. What upsets me is the way this photograph was used, especially in conjunction with that title. "Are You Mom Enough?" THAT is what angers me. The picture and title were used to incite anger, to pit us against each other, to cause shame, and all to make profit. In my opinion, that is misuse of power, and that is why I dislike the cover.

Four other pictures considered for the Time cover. 

 

 The Article:
The enclosed article contained a quick rundown of attachment parenting and a profile of Dr. Sears. This also annoyed me. The actual article had very little to do with the cover art, which just confirmed my suspicion that their aim was to get people in an uproar in order to sell more issues. The title of the article was "The Man Who Remade Motherhood." I despised this title. It implies that the ideals of AP were invented by Dr. Sears, and anyone who follows them is simply following a fad like The Master Cleanse or Myspace. It overrides the fact that these techniques are things that we are biologically programmed to do. It ignores that these are things that women have been doing since the beginning time. It implies that women need a male physician to tell us that it's okay to do what our instincts tell us to do. I appreciate the message that Dr. Sears has worked to spread, I simply dislike the idea that he invented this.

Attachment Parenting:
I agree with many of the ideals of AP, and hope to apply them to the ways I raise my children. I know there are certain things that I won't use because I am not comfortable with them, such as bed sharing, and that's okay. I know I don't have to follow every single one of these ideals "perfectly" in order for my child and myself to reap the benefits. In the end, I keep referring to them as ideals for a reason. Ideally we'd all breastfeed for an extended period of time, practice elimination communication, baby wear, and never let our littles cry, however life doesn't always allow that. I feel there is a lot of science behind why these things work and why we instinctively want to follow through with aspects of it. If anyone wants to learn more about AP and the science behind it, I highly recommend Mayim Bialik's Beyond the Sling.

Beyond the science, the reason I like AP is because it feels right to me. I will do what feels right to me, to the best of my ability. That's all we can truly ask of any parent. In the end, I think that is all that matters. We as mothers, as people, need to support each other in the decisions that we make in our families for our families. We live in a society where no matter what you do, someone is going to disapprove. There will always be someone who is angry with us because of our decisions. So many like to act as if the negativity is all one sided, but it isn't. This heat and negativity is coming from all sides. Either you're an "extremist who needs to get some serious help" or are "lazy and obviously don't care about the well-being of your children." If you happen to be floating somewhere in the middle people want you to settle on a side and fully commit. Someone on my Facebook said she was tired of all this "mommy war shit," and honestly, so am I. Granted, she meant that she didn't believe it was going on, but either way, it works. We need to quit tearing each other down, because we get enough of it from the outside world, we don't need it from each other also. I may not agree with some of the decisions others make (that will be a whole different post) but I support their right to make those decisions. I haven't walked in their shoes, I don't know their experiences. What feels right to me might not necessarily feel right to them. You know what? That's okay. Those differences in opinion, in life style, are what make life beautiful.

In the end, I support parenting in all ways, shapes, and forms. That is my opinion.

The Joys of a New Home

We very recently bought our first home, and it was a lovely hassle, what with all the inspections that were done to ensure that the house was in working condition before we bought it. Someone must have overlooked the plumbing.

The problem we've been having is that not only were the pipes under the sink leaking, water kept backing up into the sink whenever we would run the dishwasher or garbage disposal. It would then take forever to drain.

We just had the plumber leave, and learned that whoever did the piping in this house was apparently out of their mind. He says that the pipes are the wrong size, the wrong fittings were used, and the pipes are set up in a wavy pattern, which is causing a lot of problems. So now we have the plumber coming back tomorrow to fix all of the piping goodness. Another day of eating out to prevent dishes, and a fee of almost 600$. Yay.

In the end, I understand that this is an old house, and things will need fixing. What annoys me is that in order to get our VA loan things had to practically be perfect with this house. We weren't going to be given the loan unless the seller fixed some superficial termite damage on the shed in the back yard. They were going to refuse to give us the loan because some decorative siding had fallen off at the back of the house. These were things that were incredibly silly and superficial. Yet, no one seemed to care about the plumbing issues or even felt like we needed to be told about them. I would have preferred it if the seller had to have the pipes fixed instead of having to fix the shed.

That's life, but it really makes me appreciate having had a landlord who had to deal with these issues for us.

Updates

Well, we aren't off to a great start, are we? I've learned that if I don't stick to the schedule I've given myself, even the tiny one I have now, I get very much off track. For instance, two days ago my to-do list popped up saying I needed to fold the laundry. I was in the middle of something, probably an episode of Supernatural and crocheting, and I told myself I would fold as soon as I finished... Like I said, that was two days ago and the clothes are still in the dryer. I tell myself that I'll improve at things like this as soon as xyz happens, and inevitably xyz does happen while I continue to not improve. Currently xyz is unpacking this house... When I finish unpacking I'll follow my to-do list better, I'll add more things to the to-do list, I'll cook more, I'll craft more, I'll blog and vlog more, I'll blah blah blah. I need to stop putting things off until some future event occurs, and start getting down to business.

Speaking of unpacking, I have made a ton of progress! It feels like I haven't gotten anything done, but slowly it is coming together. :) I've gotten the vast majority done, and the rest I really just need the Hubs to help with. The problem is that I am on the brink of becoming a hoarder. Hubs knows this, and has said that he wants us to really get rid of some stuff instead of just putting it in the attic. I am willing to do this, I just need him to provide a helping hand. He tests for Staff Sergeant on Monday, and so he has been studying since we've moved in. It's only been two weeks, but this is why I am still not finished unpacking. As soon as the test is over, Operation Super Unpack shall commence! Wish us luck!

Now, I'm going to post a recipe, start dinner, and then fold that laundry... Maybe...